Pronouns
The first rule of Japanese pronouns is do not use them. Japanese drops any subject or object the listener can work out, and a sentence stuffed with 私 and あなた is the clearest possible signal that someone learned the language from a textbook.
✗ 私はあなたを愛しています ✓ 愛してる
"I" is a choice about yourself
| who says it | |
|---|---|
| 私 watashi | the safe default; neutral, polite. Formal for men, all-purpose for women |
| わたくし watakushi | very formal — ceremonies, business speeches |
| 僕 boku | men and boys, soft and slightly modest; some women use it |
| 俺 ore | men, blunt and casual — friends, family, never a client |
| うち uchi | casual, mostly women, Kansai flavour |
| 自分 jibun | "oneself"; some men use it for I |
Choosing between 僕 and 俺 is choosing a persona. Anime characters are written around it.
"You" is a trap
あなた is what textbooks teach and what almost nobody says to a person's face. Depending on context it is distant, condescending, or — from a wife to her husband — intimate, closer to "darling".
Use the person's name plus a suffix instead, even when speaking directly to them:
田中さんは学生ですか — Are you a student, Tanaka? (literally "is Tanaka a student")
| suffix | for |
|---|---|
| さん | the default for adults |
| 君 kun | boys, junior colleagues |
| ちゃん | children, close friends, pets |
| 様 sama | customers, deities, formal letters |
| 先生 | teachers, doctors, lawyers — used instead of さん |
君 kimi and お前 omae exist as "you", but they are marked: 君 is intimate or superior-to-junior, お前 is rough and can be an insult.
Third person
| 彼 kare | he — also "boyfriend" |
| 彼女 kanojo | she — also "girlfriend" |
| あの人 ano hito | that person — commoner and safer |
| 田中さん | just say the name again |
Japanese repeats names where English would say "he". It is not clumsy; it is normal.
Plural
There is no plural, but a few suffixes cluster people:
| 私たち watashitachi | we |
| 僕ら bokura | we (casual) |
| あなたたち | you (plural) |
| 彼ら karera | they |
たち attaches to people only. 田中さんたち means "Tanaka and company".
Possessive: just add の
私の本 — my book · 田中さんの車 — Tanaka's car · 日本の文化 — Japan's culture
And once の has done its work, the noun can vanish: 私の — mine.
The こそあど grid does demonstratives
これ / それ / あれ / どれ and the rest of the family are in Questions. They cover "this one, that one, that one over there", and they are pronouns in every practical sense.
Reflexive
自分 jibun — oneself, whoever the subject happens to be: 自分でやります — I'll do it myself.
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